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Remove yourself emotionally. Distance yourself so you can think straight. It's not anymore. It might have been and could very well get back there at some point but here and now, this is not. She is cheating and having her needs satisfied somewhere and now you spend every waking moment trying to gain back what you think you have lost and you fail. First step is to mentally and emotionally detach yourself temporarily so you can plan ahead. Stop thinking about how it was and how you can get it all back. Think of how you would like to be as a new person. How it would look like without her and also WITH her taking into account what you just found out. I mean think about it for a second, would you ever look at her the same way you did when you first met? The response should be NO. You can't ever look at her the same, she is not the same. So your best bet is to end it. If she has any interest in attempting it again with you, she open a window and you can try and mend it if you still want. But you have a totally new relationship at that point. OR just say goodbye, who knows, you might not even want to be with her anymore but you were so emotionally charged and attached that you couldn't tell what's what. Wake up one day, bring the adult out of you, stand tall and say, this is life, stuff happens. Oh well, I need to keep moving forward so let me try and make the best of this, mend whatever pieces of my heart and trust back together and invest my time and energy into finding my smile again, with someone new. You are not crazy thinking about saving your marriage. So much has been invested that you just don't want to throw away. It's very psychological. The concept of endings frighten us. It's a death of some sort and death is permanent and that scares us all. So you are just being human trying to save it. BUT don't waste your life chasing this if in the end it is not worth it. Detach yourself emotionally so you think this through objectively and make a decision. Be an adult about this, stuff happens and we need to accept it and move on sometimes and lastly, smile, in the grand scheme of things, we all all just a drop in an ocean, so don't make an mountain out of a mole hill, stand tall and proud and whatever your decision, make sure you are moving forward in life.
I was just going off what the said, her post seems very positive in her new found openness to explore that part of her sexuality. And her friends support her and thats awesome. So more power to her. If in fact her opening up in being bi opens other mental health issues than seek therapy but again from her previous post she is happily exploring herself! with a lil caution thats all and a lil bit of questions. She in fact isn't sure if shes bi. but from the sounds of it she's curious and curious for same sex but enjoys the opposite sex too makes you bi. :) if u have had a bad situation and going off what you've been through I'm sorry you had to. And if you were just pointing out the other side of opening up about your sexuality brave girl thank you for that. because I know from experience that some people aren't accepting of it.
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